I'm like a rebelling teen- I wanted to give Liz and John a good scare, hence the fact my facebook over the past few days has looked more like a snapshot from girls gone wild: the chronicles of Farrell Sweeney losing all sense of self in Australia.
But no, all is classy and fine on my end- I just have a classic case of missing my family immensely. So naturally, my chosen way to express this was to give them all a minor heart attack from halfway across the world.
In order to retain my preferred Sweeney spot as the center of attention, I decided a fake tattoo ploy was perfect because that is something that just can't be ignored. I've had the belly button piercing phase, then the nose piercing, so a natural next step could have theoretically been a tattoo. I hadn't talked to my parents in a few days either, so I was hoping that would ultimately add to the shock factor.
When deciding which temporary tattoo to choose and where to put it on my body, I immediately gravitated towards putting a tramp stamp on my lower back that said "bad girl," however, I quickly realized how transparent that would be. If I was going to do this- it was going to be done craftily.
The tattoo artist (is a temporary tattoo artist worthy of this title??), Shand, and I carefully sifted through all of our choices, trying to pick something that a "having the time of her life but no concept of reality" exchange student would choose. We all agreed that the tattoo needed to be something absolutely mindless that everyone back at home would cringe at, and that it had to have an Aussie theme. This would allow me to stick an emotional Facebook soliloquy about my time in Australia next to a picture of the Aussie themed tattoo, and bam. We have our final product.
So as I stumbled across a picture of a koala, I knew I had found the one. The tattoo artist proceeded to outline my new koala temporary tattoo with a faint red line to make it look like it had really just been done. We rushed home, snapped the pictures, and posted the final product on Facebook.
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| "Been contemplating having this done for months. This place has really changed me for the better and I wanted it to stick with me. Liz Paradise I promise it can be easily covered up! YOLO" - Accompanying caption |
The deed had been done, and I sat by my phone excitedly awaiting Liz's reaction.
...Turns out Liz was clubbing in Miami, so 24 hours later- I finally got the text I had been waiting for. Instead of giving you guys a play by play of the conversation, I feel it will be easiest to just post it.
Her initial support was somewhat surprising, however you know you've gotten to Liz Sweeney when she has resorted to therapeutic shopping via ridiculous one pieces. Mom what is that swimsuit??
When I proceeded to call her, in typical Liz fashion, as she was recounting the horror she was feeling while under the impression that I had actually gotten the tattoo, her main stress was that I had not consulted her for artistic advice. "I'm a creative director and you didn't even ask for my opinion. Artistically it was shit, and I was beyond horrified. I thought I had raised you to have better standards, and I was trying so hard to figure out where I went wrong."
So in the end, yes I have gotten the attention I wanted, however yelling parents would have been much more thrilling than supportive ones. Clearly I'm not going to complain about that though.
Additionally, I am highly offended at how many of my friends have believed this prank. Really guys?? On a scale from 1 to 10 in terms of being uptight, I'm a 12 and you all think I got a koala tattoo... In what world.
So hopefully that provides some clarification seeing as anyone that has asked about my tattoo I have neglected to answer. I've been too busy probably contracting skin cancer and hanging out in paradise- check it out.
Spring break round 2, so far a success.
-F
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